SSBB Shorts
by EgoistFan85
Summary: Not an impressive title, I know. These are a few short drabbles of the Smashers doing stuff outside of brawling. Humor and Drama ensue. Reviews welcome.
1. Fireworks

**Author's Note: Welcome to SSBB Shorts. These were partially inspired from the Shinigami Illustrated Picture Book and partially inspired from Epic Fails that I like to watch. Put them together and you've got hilarity dashed with pain. But don't worry, the pain in this fanfic will be at a level you can tolerate. Oh! Before I forget, Super Smash Bros. Brawl belongs to Nintendo, HAL Laboratory, etc. I do not claim to own it. Now, on to the fanfiction...**

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Chapter 1: Fireworks

Inside the usually casual Smash Manor, at 10:00am, everyone was usually expected to either still be asleep (if that was possible) or have gone out for a nice morning walk around Smash Park after eating breakfast. It was the casual routine for most of the Smashers there.

Well, we're sorry to say that that's not what was going on this morning.

Zelda and Peach had woken everyone up at _**5**__** IN THE MORNING**_ to prepare for a certain event: the Super Smash Bros. Fireworks Display. The event was celebrated in order to say farewell to previous smashers and epic brawls in the past, and welcome this year's newest smashers and the glorious brawls to come. And while this event was of great importance, 5 in the morning is, to everybody, a really cruel hour to wake someone up.

And now 5 hours later, everyone was slaving away, tired and hungry as who know what, putting up banners and notices, making the delicious food for the event and some other laborious task Zelda and Peach could dream up. Out of all the people slaving away, Toon Link was the only one who seemed to enjoy this, constantly running around bringing items or food to Peach and Zelda. To everyone else, though, Zelda and Peach were going to be the end of them.

"Man, how can that brat still that this much energy since 5 in the fricking morning," Link said as he and Pit were standing on ladders, putting up a banner in front of Smash Manor. Even though Link and Zelda were currently together and the two of them were deeply in love, Link was still just pissed as everyone else.

Pit replied, "Give the kid a break. To be honest, it's kinda cute. He's like their little assistant. Besides, it's Peach and Zelda's fault for waking all of us up at that ungodly hour in the morning."

"You're an angel! Every hour in the morning is godly for you!" Link retorted.

"That doesn't mean that I enjoy waking up at that hour!"

Before the argument could go any further, Toon Link came running towards Link and Pit and from the looks of it, he brought news.

"Aniki!*", Toon Link shouted. "Zelda-neechan* told me to tell you that she needs to use your whole stash of bombs. She needs them to set off the fireworks tonight.

"My ENTIRE stash of bombs!?" Link almost fell off his ladder after hearing this. "Tell Zelda that she can get her own stupid bombs. I was going to use those bombs for next week's brawl!"

"But, Aniki... you and Zelda-neechan..."

"Don't butt your head into my relationship with Zelda," Link scolds him. "Our relationship won't be destroyed because she couldn't use my bombs."

Toon Link sat down on the first rung of Pit's ladder and begins to cry.

"Aw, come on, cut the act," Link tells Toon Link. At this, Toon Link goes into full out bawling. "Fine, tell Zelda she can use my bombs."

After hearing Link indirectly give permission to Zelda, Toon Link immediately stops bawling and perks up. "Yay! Thanks, Aniki! Bye, Wings!" He runs back inside, knocking Link off his ladder in the process.

"Wait, Toon Link..." Link turns to Pit. "Pit, we just got duped," he tells Pit.

"No kidding," Pit replies.

_Later at 8:00 pm..._

All of the Smashers gathered together at Smash Park, as the fireworks were being lit and set off. After the sets dedicated to the _Kirby series_ and_ the Legend of Zelda _were set off, Peach and Zelda walk in front of the crowd of Smashers.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, we now present our final set of fireworks, dedicated to the smashers of _Super Mario Bros.,_" Peach announces. "Zelda, will you do the honors?"

"Gladly," Zelda replies. She points her finger at the fuse and fires a small bolt of fire at the firework fuse.

But after the fire reaches the firework, the bomb that set off the firework suddenly turned bright red and completely exploded, along with the firework. Everyone jumped back, even Peach and Zelda.

"What... What is this," someone shouts. "This is an insult to the yearly festival!"

"I'm sure we can fix this," Peach says. She rushes over to the _Super Mario Bros. _firework set. Before she could get to it, though, another bomb turned red, blew up and destroyed the firework. This time, however, the explosion starts a chain reaction and all of the bombs begin to explode. At this, everyone began to abandon the park.

"THIS IS INSANE!"

"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!"

"WHAT IS THIS CRAP!"

Fortunately, the Pokemon Trainer managed to call Squirtle and Squirtle managed to put out the bombs. After the bombs were put out, everybody managed to calm down.

Zelda walks up to Link and slaps him hard enough to leave a red mark on his left cheek. "You jerk, what kind of bombs did you give me?! Is this some kind of sick joke?" she shrills at him.

"Zelda, I..."

"Shut up! I don't want to hear your excuses! We are THROUGH!" she slaps him again, making the red mark on his cheek even bigger.

While Zelda was yelling at Link, Toon Link walks over to the spare bomb bag and takes a look at the brand of bombs. "Oh, I know. I got the bomblings instead of the normal bombs," he calls out to Link and Zelda.

"Wait, Toon Link, it was you who mixed up the bombs, not Link," Zelda says tearfully. She turns to Link and gives him a huge hug. "Link, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me! I didn't know it was you..."

Link kisses her forehead. "It's alright, babe. Come on, let's go back to Smash Manor."

While all the Smashers began to return to the Smash Manor, Toon Link on the other hand, took out several bomblings, lit several matches and lit the bomblings. Several explosions sounded around the park, while he ran around laughing maniacally and shouting "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

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**To make a long story short: Toon Link + Bombs + Matches= WORLD DOMINATION!**

**I wanted to model Toon Link after Yachiru because I imagined him having the same personality as her. Wait a minute... Toon Link X Yachiru? OMG, wouldn't that be cute? They both have swords, they're both little kids and Yachiru would probably think of a cute nickname for Toon Link (if Kenpachi doesn't brutally kill him first). Everybody, try to write a Toon Link X Yachiru ****fic. The first person to do this get a candy *raises chocolate bar and waves it in the air*!**

***Aniki= Big Bro**

***Zelda-neechan= Big Sis Zelda**


	2. Formal Dinners

**I would like to give a shout-out to Tigerwillow, Love2game and Bossrunner456 for commenting on the first chapter. So without further ado, I present Chapter 2. Hehehe, rhyme. First off, I do not own Super Smash Bros. Brawl. This chapter is more on the drama side, so don't expect too much humor. And, there's no Toon Link in this chapter. Sorry, Toon Link fangirls. **

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Chapter 2: Formal Dinners

There was much talk amongst the Smashers about the Fireworks episode, mostly on how Toon Link screwed up and got bomblings instead of the regular bombs. However, after a couple of days, said topic was completely forgotten. There was still minor talk about the ruined festival but otherwise, the subject merely became old news. Since the ruined festival, the Smashers enjoyed a few weeks of luxury and peace.

However, one day, something interesting happened. An alloy messenger came by the Smash Manor and requested that all Smashers that were of royal status and/or of high military status were requested to attend a formal dinner with the Master Hand.

Hence, the following Smashers were waiting at the front of Smash Manor: Pit, Peach, Zelda, Link, Marth, Ike, Meta Knight, King Dedede and Bowser. A few minutes later, the Alloy Messenger returned for them.

"Thank you for waiting so patiently, lords and ladies," the Messenger said. Please follow me." He started heading towards a very extravagant-looking building. All the 9 Smashers could do was follow him. After all, this could be promising.

When they entered the building, all the Noble Smashers just stopped and stared.

This building was unlike anything they've seen before. It beat the dorm-like rooms of Smash Manor, that's for sure. Everywhere they looked, a chandelier was hanging over wherever there was a table. And there were a LOT of tables. The Alloy Messenger seemed to enjoy the 9 Smashers amazed expression, because it told them to follow it once more,which they did, until they came to a closed door.

"The Master Hand is inside," the Alloy Messenger said. "I do hope you find everything to your liking." With that, it opened the door, and all 9 Smashers walked in.

"Welcome, all Noble Smashers," a deep voice boomed. Obviously, this voice belonged to the Master Hand. "It is my sheer pleasure to welcome you all here and I do hope you enjoy your stay here. Would any of you like something to drink before the main course arrives? And please help yourselves to some bread."

Zelda and Marth, the only ones that were thirsty, asked for some Hakushu*. The rest of the Smashers helped themselves to some bread.

Pretty soon, the main course arrived. It was full of many different foods that nobody even knew existed. For instance, Link had just eaten what seemed to be a cross between crab meat and slug. While everyone else was unnerved by that, Link still ate hardily.

"Now that you are all here, I have a proposition for you all," Master Hand's deep voice boomed. This was enough for all 9 Smashers to stop eating and look up at him.

"I want all of you to join the upper ranks of Brawling," Master Hand boomed. "Just think about it. You will all be in a class of your own. Why, your status as an upper-rank will be acknowledged just by you simply entering the battlefield. All you have to do is leave Smash Manor and live here, it's as simple as that."

Zelda, who was eating a dish that was not as disturbing as Link's, asked "How long are we going to live here?"

"Well, permanently, of course. You can't be associating with those that are inferior to you. Otherwise, your status will be revoked," Master Hand boomed.

At that point, all 9 Smashers, even Bowser were shocked by this choice. If they joined the upper ranks, then they would be the most powerful smashers in Brawl. But that would mean leaving Smash Manor permanently, leaving all of the friends they had grown to love over time.

"Master Hand, with all due respect, I'm afraid we'll have to refuse your offer," Zelda said.

For a moment, Master Hand was silent.

"I see...," was all he could say. Suddenly he attacks Zelda, but Link managed to block the attack with his sword.

"How dare you," he boomed. "I invite all 9 of you to dinner and you have the audacity to refuse my offer to join the upper ranks. You maggots!" He attacks Zelda and Link again, but the attack is blocked yet again, this time by Marth. Fortunately, he performs a follow-up attack, knocking Master Hand unconscious.

"Well, Zelda-sama*," Marth asked. "Shall we go back to the Smash Manor?"

Suddenly, Link gets in between the two of them. "Yes, I think you should go now," he retorts rather rudely.

As the 9 Smashers return to Smash Manor, they kept thinking about how they refused Master Hand's offer to leave Smash Manor permanently. Although it was a offer that couldn't be refused, fighting alongside their fellow Smashers, on equal grounds, would be a whole lot better.

Upon entering the front door of Smash Manor, the Smashers heard something akin to a bowel movement, followed by a fart. Zelda looked back. "Link," she asked. "Was that you?"

Link, clutching his stomach, replied, "No..."

"Oh God, Link, what the heck did you eat?" Ike asked, covering his nose. Now, there was an unpleasant odor in the air.

"To be honest, I don't know. I ate some crab-meat, slug thing. It was pretty good, but now it doesn't agree with my stomach," Link said. Suddenly, Link's face turned green and he covers his mouth. "Gonna puke."

"GAAAH! LINK, HOLD ON! WE'RE ALMOST TO THE BATHROOM!" Pit was now carrying Link to the bathroom while Link did his absolute best to try and not puke.

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**XD Oh, poor Link. Then again, it serves him right to eat something gross. Anyways, I'm sorry this took so long to post. I haven't had too much free time on my hands.**

***Zelda-sama= Lady Zelda**

***Hakushu= Japanese Premium Whiskey**

**Reviews are welcome. Hope you enjoyed. ;)**


	3. Horror Movies

**YES! I fin****ally have some free time and I'm using it to write my 3rd chapter for this ever so popular story. There will be a mischievous Toon Link and facepalming in this chapter. Eh... I don't have much to say about this chapter, so I present Chapter 3! Enjoy!**

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Chapter 3: Horror Movies

Toon Link happily prepared his room for the "playdate" that he had planned a week ago. Well, maybe playdate might not be the right word. Movie Night would be the correct term for this occasion. Toon Link had invited two of his friends to a sleepover/movie. He had bought the movie himself (and by "bought", he means stealing it from Link's room while Link himself was resting up from his... accident).

Toon Link was now finishing up cleaning, by dusting off the TV so the screen could be clearer when the movie was showing. Now that he was finished, he stood there admiring the neatness of his room. He finished just in time too, for there were a few knocks on the door after a bit. "It's open," Toon Link told the knockers. And the door was opened.

The guests were Ness and Lucas, the latter bringing Kirby with him, for reasons we have yet to discover. Upon seeing his guests, Toon Link greeted them and welcomed them into his room.

"Hi, guys!" Toon Link shouted. "We're gonna have sooooooo much fun tonight! I hope you guys enjoy the movie I got from Aniki!"

Ness looked genuinely surprised. "He gave a MOVIE to you?" he said. "You're kidding, right? If I were Link, I wouldn't give money to you, let alone a movie!"

At that comment, Toon Link pouted. "Don't be stupid, Nest. Of course he gave me the movie and I'm gonna show it to you guys."

"It's Ness, you stupid head, not Nest," Ness shouted back. Lucas, on the other hand, clutched Kirby a bit tight, prompting Kirby to give a little groan. "Um, Link, what kind of movie did you get from Big Link?" he asked.

"A horror movie, of course, Banana Head," Toon Link replied, rather casually to the nervous Lucas. "It's called 'Serial Killer 2: Blood Shower!'"

Once again, Lucas grasped Kirby tightly and Kirby made a much louder groan, out of pain this time. "I... I don't want to watch a scary movie! I really don't, Link!"

Toon Link closed the door. "Sorry, Banana Head. It's too late to go back to your own room." He looked of at the wall clock. "It's 10:30 pm, so nobody should be in the hallways now. Besides you have Kirby-chan and Nest to keep you safe."

Ness shot Toon Link a look. "Are you calling me that on purpose? My name is NESS! It sounds like 'Nest', but it's not!"

"OK, if you don't like Nest, then can I call you NES*?" Toon Link joked.

Ness simply facepalmed.

After the nickname debate was over, Toon Link put the DVD into the DVD player. The movie, at first, wasn't too violent. But, as its name suggested, the violence gradually began to increase until there was practically blood in every scene. And throughout the whole movie Toon Link was clearly enjoying himself, Ness was less so, while Lucas was clearly terrified and squeezing Kirby so tightly that at any second, the pink thing might explode.

After the movie, the Three boys decided to go to sleep. Kirby had managed to get back to his own room without getting caught. While Toon Link and Ness slept, Lucas stayed awake. He was deathly terrified that the serial killer would come into the room and slash them all to death and with no Kirby to hold, Lucas was even more terrified. He tried to think about how he was the farthest from the door, so that if someone did come, then they would get Toon Link first and Lucas and Ness would have a five-second headstart to escape. Thinking about it made Lucas laugh a little.

Until a few minutes later, knocking began to take place at the door.

Lucas, Toon Link and Ness woke up in a flash.

"What was that?" Lucas said, trembling. Toon Link shook his head while Ness said, "I don't know. Maybe after a while, it'll go away.

But whoever was at the door didn't go away. The knocking began to grow frequent.

"_I'm here for you__," _a voice rasped.

Ness and Toon Link heard the knocking this time. The Three boys gathered closer to each other .

The knocking began to turn into pounding.

The boys practically hugged each other. Toon Link whispered to the knocker, "Take Banana Head! He's scared of you!"

Lucas, knowing that Toon Link meant him, turned around. "What? Hey!"

"_Won't open the door, will you? Very well..."_

The door was suddenly smashed down by a powerful force*. Toon Link, Ness and Lucas screamed at the top of their lungs and begged the assailant to spared them.

"What are you boys doing?" The so-called assailant was Princess Peach. She was clearly tired, explaining her raspy voice.

"Momo*? Why did you do that? You scared the heck out of us!" Toon Link exclaimed.

"I came to take Lucas back to his room," Peach said, her voice still raspy. Upon hearing this, Lucas immediately stood up and ran to Peach.

"So, are you ready to go, Lucas?" Peach asked. Lucas nodded. Peach then turned to Toon Link. "By the way, Link says that he wants his movie back."

"What?! How did Aniki find out?!" Toon Link was genuinely surprised.

"Ness gave you up."

Toon Link turned to Ness. "Way to go, Nest. You completely ruined my movie night."

Ness suddenly grew angry. "Miss Peach, can you please tell him that I don't want to be called Nest? It's getting annoying!"

"Toon Link, stop calling him Nest."

"Okay, I will," Toon Link said. "Sorry about that, NES."

Ness simply facepalmed.

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**Well, it seems Ness is going to hear that name for a while.**

**I had tons of fun writing this chapter and personally, I think this chapter was awesome. Reviews for this chapter are EXTREMELY welcome.**

***NES- For those of you that don't know, it is an acronym that stands for Nintendo Entertainment System (it's kind of fitting because SSBB is by Nintendo)**

***"Powerful Force- Peach Bomber, Peach's Side Special Move (she smashed a door down with her butt... that's kind of disturbing...)**

***Peach's nickname is Momo because in Japanese, when Momo is written as 桃, then it translates as "Peach". This is a pun on her name. You'll see more of that later.**

**Hope you enjoyed! ;) **


	4. Grocery Stores and Hair Gel

**Huh? I didn't imagine that SSBB Shorts would reach Chapter 2, let alone Chapter 4. Must be overflow of ideas...**

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Chapter 4: Grocery Stores and Hair Gel

Marth put on his casual clothes and grabbed a grocery list that was on his night table. Apparently, Marth needed milk, eggs and hair gel. Nothing particularly fancy was coming up, but he really needed those groceries. Especially the hair gel. During one of his brawls, his opponent attacked a Blast Box that knocked out both himself and Marth. Of course, they dueled in Sudden Death and Marth won, but his precious hair paid the price. His blue hair had lost its sheen and a little bit of it was singed off.

A phone, which was also on Marth's night table, started to ring. Marth promptly picked up the receiver and answered the call. "Hello?"

"Marth, my man, it's Snake," a voice said from the other end. "Hey, what are you doing? I've been waiting for you for 20 minutes."

"Sorry about that, I'll be right outside," Marth replied and hangs up the phone. Quickly putting on his headdress, he ran out of his dorm room and outside to Snake.

When he when outside, Snake was clearly annoyed. He was leaning against a lamppost when he saw Marth. "What have you been doing, princess?" he asked. "Did Zelda show up at your door or something?"

Marth's cheeks burned at the mention of Zelda's name. "No... she didn't. And I was trying to look presentable, unlike _you_, who never leaves their gear in their dorm, who never shaves and who never takes a shower!"

"I take showers," Snake tells him. "Just... not too often..."

Marth's nose wrinkled in disgust. "Snake, you pig! No wonder girls don't look at you! You smell like a dead corpse! Just... let's just go to the grocery store, OK? We can just get the stuff we need... Let's just... GO!"

But before the two of them could even take a step, a voice called out to them.

"Marth, Snake, can you stop for a minute please?"

Both Marth and Snake looked back. The caller turned out to be none other than... **Zelda**! Marth immediately did his best to hide his singed locks while Snake tried to act cool.

"Zelda-sama, it's rather unexpected to see you here," Marth said. Behind him, Snake put a hand on his mouth to try and suppress oncoming laughter.

"Hi, Marth, Snake," Zelda replied. "I heard that you two were going to the grocery store so I thought it would be nice of you guys to take Toon Link with you." Suddenly, Toon Link springs out behind Zelda and waves at Marth and Snake.

Marth and Snake looked at each other in utter shock and for a moment, no one spoke. Then, Marth was about to say something, but Zelda interrupted him by saying "Okay, thanks for taking him with you" before hurriedly running away. When she was far away from Marth and Snake, she said to herself "Oh thank goodness."

Meanwhile, Toon Link was jumping around and yelling out, "Yay! I get to go to the grocery store with Circle* and Mr. Utility Belt! Circle, Mr. Utility Belt, what are we going to do at the grocery store?"

"Well," Snake said. "We have to get Princess Marth some new hair gel and food." His earlier comment earned him an elbow to the arm by Marth.

"Like I said before, let's just go," Marth said.

When they got to the grocery store, Toon Link immediately ran into the place and to the video game aisle. When Marth suggested they follow him, Snake, however, decided against it.

"Let him do what he wants," Snake said. "Besides, he can't really do much here. Leave it to the employees." With that, Snake took out Marth's grocery list. "So the first you need is hair gel, right?"

Marth nodded.

"Right, and the next is..." Snake scrolled down the list. "Marth, why is "Hair Gel" written on the list 30 times?!"

"Well, since getting hair gel is my top priority, I wrote it down multiple times so I wouldn't forget," Marth replied.

"You thought you would forget Hair Gel? You order it every week and your medicine cabinet is full of it! Who puts hair gel in a medicine cabinet, anyways?"

"Hey, I did forget it once! My hair was so flat and lifeless that I couldn't show my face at Smash Manor for a week!"

"Hey, keep it down!" One of the employees, who was moving boxes to the nearby storage room, happened to overhear Snake and Marth's argument. "Just buy your girlfriend some hair gel, and shut up!"

Once again, Snake put a hand to his mouth to stifle his laughter, while Marth's cheeks slightly turned pink. "Sir, there appears to be a misunderstanding. I'm a man."

Upon hearing this, the employee dropped the boxes he was carrying and looked at Marth in shock. "You're a GUY?! BOSS! GAY GUYS AT AISLE 4!" (A/N: I am not against gays. Just saying)

Almost immediately after the freaked-out employee left, another grocery store employee approached Marth and Snake. This time, it was a woman with a slender figure and red hair. She was dangling Toon Link by the ear.

"Excuse me, do you two know this boy?" she asked the two of them.

"No, we don't," Snake said. When the woman gives them a glare, Snake gave in. "Fine, yes, we know him."

"If you know him, then are you aware that this boy has been running around the video game aisle for an hour and has broken 69 Wii consoles?!" she asked. In the distance, a crashing sound was heard. "Make that 70," the woman said.

"We're terribly sorry," Marth said. "We should have been with him in the video game aisle."

"Clearly. Now, about the broken consoles, you owe us $7000," the woman said.

"Wait a minute," Marth said. "Snake and I don't that the money right now, but I know someone who does."

"And who could that be, may I ask?"

_Later that day..._

Marth entered his dorm where Ike, his roommate, was looking through the mail.

"Ike, I'm back," Marth called out.

"Hey, Marth," Ike responded. "Something weird came in the mail today."

"What came in the mail?"

"A bill. Why do we have to pay $7000 for 70 broken Wii consoles?"

Marth's face began to burn. "Well, this is awkward. So... how are we going to come up with $7000?"

Ike walked up to Marth and put his hand on Marth's shoulder.

"Get your hair gel. We're selling it."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"

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**XD! Be strong, Marth. Be strong.**

**I hope you enjoyed the 4th chapter. Again, this was fun to write, so I hope you enjoyed. **

***This is similar with Peach's nickname. In Japanese, Marth is written as マルス (**_marusu lit. Mars_**). The first two characters are written as マル (**_maru_**) which can also be written as 丸, which means circle, hence Marth's nickname. **

**Reviews are welcome. :)**


	5. Stalking Zelda

**Okay, I'm back. This chapter was inspired by a video called "Welcome to Vocaloid" Episode 5 Part 2. This one scene was so hilarious that I just had to write one about the guys in SSBB. That's right, it's all about the guys this chapter! Personally, I would do the same thing to Zelda, since she's my favorite SSBB character and all. **

**I'm sorry I haven't been working on this fic for a while. I've been very stressed out and busy. So I'm gonna make this longer than usual. So, here's Chapter 5...**

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Chapter 5: Stalking Zelda

Link glared at the scene outside his dorm window. He wanted to march out of his dorm and just senselessly slug that blue-haired playboy in the fact. Did he really think he could just walk up to his Zelda and start talking to her?! "He's got a lot of nerve," Link muttered to himself.

Lately, Zelda had been spending time with Marth. At first, Link had thought of it as a meeting between royalty. But after 7 or 8 times, Link began to think that Zelda was cheating. No, Marth was hitting on her.

Outside, Zelda was laughing at a previous comment made by Marth, which turned Link's stomach and he practically started to rip his blonde hair out of his head. Marth had just explained why Ike had passed a few nights ago. At this point, Link decided to open his dorm window a bit to hear what they were saying. However, upon opening it, he would have given anything to close the window again.

"Zelda-sama, I was wondering," Marth was saying. "There's a nice, casual restaurant in town tonight. You and I could go there in private. Would you like to come with me."

"Sure, I would love to," Zelda replied. "I don't know how to explain this to Link, though..."

"Don't worry. Link will understand eventually." Marth bowed his head and turns around. While walking away, Marth happened to make eye contact with Link, whom the former casually waved to. Afterwards, Marth walked away, unaware that Link promptly flipped him off when he wasn't looking.

_Later that evening..._

Ike, Snake, Pit and Roy sat down on the floor while Link sat on his own bed. All 5 of them were dressed in suits accompanied with sunglasses. It should be noted that Pit had wrapped his wings in gauze so that they wouldn't be visible.

"Men," Link told them in a deep voice. "We have a cheating woman in our mist,"

"Wait a minute," Roy said. "Why are we doing this? This is so cliché.

"Roy, just shut up and sit down!" Link shouted at him. "Great, now you just killed the moment! Okay, Zelda is cheating on me. And who is she secretly seeing? MARTH!

There was a sudden gasp throughout the room.

"My reaction exactly," Link said. "So here's what we do. I managed to get the restaurant name from Peach. It's called 'La Tarde'."

"La Tarde?" Snake said. "You mean 'The Evening', right?"

"Yes, that's what it means in English. Anyways, we have to find out what Zelda and Marth are up to. I have an idea that just might work."

"RIGHT!"

"In other words," Link said, putting on his sunglasses and in a deep voice, he said, "We become men tonight."

"Again, that's really cliché."

"ROY, SHUT UP!"

_At the restaurant..._

Marth and Zelda sat down on a table, laughing. The two of them had already ordered whiskey for their drink and decided not to have appetizers. Little did they know that Link and the others were sitting at another table not to far from them.

When the waitress finally came to drop off Marth and Zelda's drinks, Link just sat and glared.

"So, Marth ordered Zelda whiskey so he could get her high, huh?" Link said. "He's got some nerve."

"That could've been a coincidence, Link," Ike said. "Whiskey is Zelda's favorite drink. You know that more than anybody."

"And how do _you_ know that, mecenary? Has Zelda been seeing you, too?"

"No, of course not!"

"Well, you sure were implying that!"

"Hey! Break it up!" Roy pointed to a woman approaching their table. "Our waitress is coming!"

"Hello, welcome to La Tarde. My name is Fumiko," the waitress said when she arrived. "What would you gentlemen like to drink?"

"We're not really here to eat, thank you," Link told her. When Ike gave Link a hard prod on the shoulder, Link said, "Never mind. We'll have a beer, all five of us."

"Yes, sir," Fumiko replied. "Coming right up."

After Fumiko left, Link and the others continued to watch Marth and Zelda. Nothing unusual was happening between the prince and the princess. And while that was good on Link's part, Roy, Pit, Snake and Ike were getting annoyed. Especially Ike, who kept glaring at Link even when Fumiko dropped off their drinks.

"Okay, Ike. You've been glaring at me for 5 minutes now," Link said. "What's up?"

"You dragged us out here so we could spy on Marth and Zelda and nothing is happening between the two of them," Ike said. "This is hardly worth my time anymore." Ike got up and started to head for the exit.

"Ike!" Link grabbed the stocky, blue-haired mercenary by the shoulders and tried to pull him back towards the table. "What is something _really _happens between Marth and Zelda?"

"Then, it's your problem! If she hooks up with Marth tonight, I'm sorry. It's about time you started thinking about one of those celebrity power-couple names for the two of them. I already have one in mind: Malda."

Link stared at Ike in bewilderment. "What? Malda? Seriously?"

Suddenly, Pit, Roy and Snake rushed towards Link and Ike. From the looks of their faces, something _big_ was happening.

"Link, look! Look over there!"

"Marth's gonna do something! Seriously!"

"Link, you have to see this!"

And sure enough, when Link turned that direction, they were right. Marth was standing up and Zelda was watching in awe. In fact, the whole restaurant look their way and everything fell silent.

"Zelda-sama, I've wanted to tell you something for an extremely long time now," Marth was Zelda.

Zelda's eyes filled with tears. "Marth..."

"Zelda-sama, I..."

"HEY! GET AWAY FROM MY WOMAN!"

Marth suddenly felt the impact of a beer mug, with the beer itself still inside the mug, crashing against the side of his face, causing a gasp among everyone else in the restaurant. The impact send Marth to the floor and Zelda ran to his aid. Meanwhile, Ike, Snake, Pit and Roy hid under their table, almost bursting with laughter.

"Marth, are you okay?" Zelda asked him. When Link approached the two of them, Zelda gave him a cold stare. "What is wrong with you?"

"Me? What's wrong with _you_? You were freaking cheating on me!" Link yelled at her.

"What!? You thought I was cheating?! Why would I do that?!"

"Because I saw how you were this afternoon around Marth! He was making you giggle and all and he asked you out here!"

"He didn't ask me out. He invited me here because this restaurant was new."

Link's eyes widened. "Oh..."

Zelda suddenly wrapped her arms around Link. "I'm sorry if you thought I was cheating. I didn't mean for you to think that."

Link hugged her back. "No, I'm sorry. I admit I overeacted."

Within the restaurant, "Awww..." could be heard.

After a few moments of being in each other's arms, Link and Zelda pulled away and stared in each other's eyes, smiling at each other. Then, the two of them leaned in for a kiss, when...

"LINK! Are we going to pay for these drinks or not?! Because I don't mind if we do a dine and dash. So are we gonna pay or not?!"

Link turned away from Zelda and glared at the only person he knew that was an expert at killing the mood with an ax.

"ROY! GET OVER HERE, YOU IDIOT!

In the end, it's safe to assume that Roy, Link, Ike, Zelda, Snake, Pit and Marth (as soon as he came to) had to pull a dine and dash that night.

* * *

**A/N: Roy?! Why did you have to kill the mood. They're in love! Seriously!**

**Yay! Dine and Dash! I want to try it, but I don't want to get arrested, either...**

**By the way, this is the final chapter of SSBB Shorts. I'm sorry to say this, but I want to get to work on other fics, too. Oh, and be sure to check out SSBB: Malk, too. I'm sure you'll enjoy that one. Well, thanks for reading SSBB Shorts. **

**-EgoistFan85**


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